THINGS I THOUGHT MAGICALLY HAPPENED WHEN I BECAME AN ADULT

Still waiting...I'm 25 now (I blame media and sitcoms for making me believe being an adult and the real world was easy)
  1. I would get a flat stomach
    I mean this is achievable but donuts and ice cream are bomb af.
  2. I would get my own place and not have to pay rent
    And my place would be fabulous and I would have an office and a personal chef in reality I live with 6 other roommates in Silicon Valley struggling to make ends meet.
  3. I would have all the cool designer clothes and be fabulous af
    Just buying groceries is hard enough
  4. Me and my girls would be fabulous together and always go to brunch and sip mimosas
    Sometimes we do this but it's not as classy as it sounds.
  5. I would have a cool car and never have to pay for gas
    I finally bought myself a car but my tank costs me $45 to fill up, so there's that
  6. I would travel the world and go on exotic trips every other month
    Traveling is expensive af.
  7. I would know how to budget money, have investments in stocks and a financial portfolio
    I kid you not, it was difficult to figure out what a 401k is and how much money I should put into my IRA
  8. Simply put, I could buy whatever I wanted to whenever I want to because I felt like it
    Sometimes I spend too much at Target cause I think I deserve it and I can treat myself. But help me Im poor ...for real. Please help me.
  9. I would be established by 25
    By now I figured I would've at least been engaged and a true GirlBoss. In reality I'm single af and still paying my dues as the token milliennail.
  10. I would know how to be "an adult"
    As in, I would know what car insurance was and what deductibles meant and how to pay for the dentist and naturally just know other adult shit that adults just know
  11. I would automatically know how to cook
    I microwave and heat up things in the oven to stay alive.
  12. Work was better than school
    I couldn't wait to never have anymore homework and love my job and look fabulous going to work in my fabulous wardrobe everyday. But actually, working a 9-5 sucks and people are lucky if I show up with actual pants on instead of leggings...