Requested by B.J. Novak

The Best of Penelope Cruz

In truth, idk why @bjnovak requested this list from me, but it was a veryyyyyy #accurate assessment of my interests
  1. Her Oscar acceptance speech
    Ok, indulge me because there are A LOT of amazing things going on here. First of all, this was the year when actors introduced the acting nominees, and the Supporting Actress theme was apparently Famous Strangers. Penelope is introduced by Anjelica Huston(!?) in a parade of ridiculata that made me love every person there approximately 1000x more. Also her speech is hilarious, genuine, thoughtful, and includes an Almodóvar shoutout. "Has anybody ever feinted here? Cause I might be the first one!"
  2. Her breasts
    Such breasts that dreams are made of.
  3. Her story about sneaking into Tie Me Up Tie Me Down as an overdeveloped preteen and deciding it was her destiny to become an actress and work for Pedro Almodóvar.
    So many great things about this. First of all, I LOVE Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! but it's a movie about all the shit that women put up with in the farce that is heterosexuality. Lol…Victoria Abril is hardly an aspirational figure in that film. But also lol at Penelope describing herself as a wily eleven year old using her overripe child sexuality as a way of sneaking into movies. And lol baby Penelope was right! It was her destiny! I'm sure her existence was Pedro's dream too!
  4. Best overall Penelope: Volver
    One of the best films from one of my all time favorite filmmakers. Sidebar, but I recently had a conversation with someone who talked about not liking this movie because the characters were a gay man's caricatures of what women are like. It took me a while to comprehend how bland that girl's life must have been because girl, as a Latina woman?? This is the realest portrait of women like the ones in my family that has ever been committed to film and I love it and them beyond comprehension.
  5. Runner up: Vicky Cristina Barcelona
    Recently rewatched this so my opinion is very #legit, but this is the best Woody Allen movie of this century. And Penelope is genius! Gen-ee-oos!
  6. Best underrated Penelope: Elegy
    In truth, I have not rewatched this, so maybe it's bullshit, but I liked it when I saw it a few years ago. I remember being very moved by Penelope.
  7. Best ensemble Penelope: All About My Mother
    Aw she's sooooo cute in this. Penelope plays a pregnant nun dying of AIDS, and she's only about the fourth most colorful character in the film. One of my favorite movies about female friendship and so generous with its considerations about what it means to be a woman. Also hilarious.
  8. Best goofy Penelope: Bandidas
    Hollywood never makes the sequels I want.
  9. The scene where little baby versions of Penelope and Javier Bardem fuck on a pool table and also an oil rig(???) in Jamón, Jamón
    Honestly there's a lot of fucking going on in this movie and it's kinda sexy but mostly lolz look at their precious baby faces!