WHY I MIGHT HATE YOU

  1. You went to Duke.
  2. You fail to use your turn signal.
  3. You keep spelling my name Terry.
  4. You are rude to a waiter.
  5. You talk a lot about how busy you are.
  6. You think you're too good for reality tv.
  7. You have a made-up food allergy.
  8. You want to tell me how important you are.
  9. You talk crap about the South even though you have never been there.