Rundown of the internal fight my brain has with my body every morning while getting ready for work

  1. wake up, look at the clock. 3 more hours till I have to be up. Why do I do this? Go back to sleep.
  2. Wake up, look at the clock. 1 ½ hours till I have to be up...ugh!
  3. Wake up, look at the clock. 10 minutes till I have to be up. I could just call into work. Nobody would miss me. Fuck it! I'll go in. Stupid integrity.
  4. Get up, pee. Step on scale...fuck you scale!
  5. Stumble to the coffee maker. I should give up coffee, BUT NOT today, never today!
  6. Make up...will this be a good eyebrow day or a shitty eyebrow day?
  7. Eyeliner...I can't.
  8. Fine! I'll just put the fucking eyeliner on.
  9. Hair...sigh. Curl, spray, give up...pull back with bobbie pins
  10. Get dressed, attempt, unsuccessfully, to rolly all the dog hair off of my cloths, that appeared seemingly out of nowhere
  11. Decide to get Starbucks on the way to work
  12. Vow to give up Starbucks, starting tomorrow
  13. Reload Starbucks card, to pay for tomorrow's drink
  14. Get to work, lather, rinse, repeat