My Worst Interview To Date

Lately jobs, unemployment, and interviews are all I can think. This is the worst interview I had and it took place in Geneva, Switzerland, back in late February 2013.
  1. 2 weeks before the interview, my CERN contract ended. So I was looking- and hard.
  2. Sunday before the interview, I ripped a foot tendon or broke something. It was extreme pain.
    How? Not worth explaining. In addition, I had the chance to go on a weekend get-away to Italy hosted by the CEO of E&Y Switzerland with my E&Y friend that had MS. I decided I would go to the Geneva Interview instead since I couldn't help him drive to Italy without seeing a doctor first.
  3. I also decided to postpone my visit to the hospital until after the interview on Friday.
    If I needed a cast, I didn't know how I would still go to the interview - dress wise. Of course I wanted to look strong and agile.
  4. The interview was for a North American company (I'm American!!) looking to open offices in the Italian speaking region of Switzerland ( I lived there for 4 years and I speak Italian!).
    The interview would be conducted in Italian to test my spoken and written mastery. In the email it read I was their top choice.
  5. Friday. Interview Day.
    There's a camera filming the interview. I agree to it. A woman and a man greet me. The woman explains to me she will conduct the interview in Italian. The man, is the CEO and does not speak or understand the language.
  6. He looks like Donald Trump.
  7. She will ask me the questions and I should respond only to her.
    She is dressed in a red cocktail dress.
  8. She asks about my background.
    And she says she's impressed by my "masculinity".
  9. She then starts to feel my legs with her feet under the table.
    I look at him and he gives me the Thumbs up. I do not reciprocate her playing footsie.
  10. She adds how lonely it is working late and would like someone to keep her company at night. Maybe I could help keep her warm.
    I tell her I understand the stress and I like to destress by ordering coffee and pizza to get the job done. She has other things in mind like cuddling next to A big, strong man, like me, that can make her feel safe.
  11. I smile.
    Is it me or is this getting awkward?
  12. She then starts to tell me how the boss is a fat, asshole.
    I look at him and he says "You're doing great! Good job!" And gives me another Thumbs up. I'm starting to think he may not be "all there".
  13. Her flirtations continue until she offers me a drink. She leaves the room to get us coffee and runs her fingers along my back.
    Am I excited ? Not really. All I can think of is I need to get this job and then head to the hospital to get my foot checked.
  14. I'm alone with Trump look alike.
    I try to break the silence by inviting him to ask me in English about my credentials, but he just stares back at me. So then I speak French to him ( He could be French Canadian,right?). No response. Something is odd here. I try German. Nada. I honestly begin to think he's on the spectrum. Nothing feels right about this interview.
  15. The woman walks back in with a smile, laughing at me.
    My heart sinks deeper.
  16. She explains it was a Prank for a blue collar headhunting company advertising in the online edition of a local free newspaper.
    Her filming crew walks in saying how hard it was to get me to flirt back. I'm still in disbelief this is happening.
  17. They wanted to pay me 300 Chf or the equivalent of 325 USD for the clip.
    I don't agree. They try to convince me otherwise and have a laugh.
  18. I had no say in how the clip would be edited.
    I just had to trust them that we would all be laughing in the end.
  19. Nope.
    I talked about my experience at CERN, shadowing high-profile Swiss politicians during my graduate school, and mentioned my work in building my alma mater's reputation. Since they could edit it their way, I didn't want a clip of me online with the tag line- Unemployed alum from X who worked with X and did X floating around.
  20. They said they were sure I would get a job soon and that I could make an appointment with the headhunter later if I wanted to.
    They specialized in construction and cleaning headhunting- not really the direction I wanted to take at that point.
  21. I say my thank you s, walk out, order at Starbucks and start mapping my bus route to the hospital.
    I just wanted to put that interview behind me and focus on getting medical help for my foot which I think it's a ripped tendon or broken tarsal bone.
  22. I get to the hospital ER and wait 5 hours before I get anyone to look at me.
  23. So there you have it- my worst interview ever.