Essential Life Advice: Reasons to Courtesy Flush

Courtesy flush: The patriotic act of flushing a dook immediately after it hits the water, a move most often executed in public restrooms but also valuable in some solo performances.
  1. 1.
    You're not making soup.
    Simmering doesn't make it better.
  2. 2.
    They don't charge per flush
    It's cheaper than Obamacare and everything on McD's all-day breakfast menu.
  3. 3.
    Less traffic jams
    You leave a stadium early when your team is way down, right? Send this game's fans out separately and they don't get stuck at the door.
  4. 4.
    You're a vegetarian. (...Or you just ate Korean food)
    And look, I love Korean food but it escalates the situation considerably.
  5. 5.
    It only requires one hand.
    You can still hold your phone and browse li.sts. ... or voop (vape+poop).
  6. 6.
    Because together, we can change the world.
    ... at least two flushes at a time
  7. 7.
    And seriously, to the vegetarian making soup in the next stall, "Send that package to the city already. You're killing us!!"