My bf's work friend Pete + wife really want to have us over for lunch. Bf and Pete have never hung out outside of work, and I've met Pete for 5 mins and his wife never
  1. Things start out normal. We arrive at noon and chat for awhile
  2. Around 1:00 Pete's parents arrive with granddaughter. We realize this lunch is in honor of Pete's mom's 70th b-day
    Intimate family bday celebration + 2 strangers?
  3. Then things start to get weird...
  4. The Living Situation: Pete + wife + 2 stepsons + 22yo stepdaughter + her 19yo husband will be moving into Pete's parents' house in 2 months
    Currently, residents of this house include bday grandma + grandpa + granddaughter + ex-son-in-law (drug-addict daughter recently disappeared with new bf)
  5. Pete goes into detail about his kidney surgery
    Includes describing peeing out of a hole doctors cut in his back
  6. Pete shows us jars full of kidney stones he's passed 😵🤢
  7. Bday grandma begins telling stories...
  8. Describes deaths of her Sr citizen bowling teammates
  9. Talks about mortgage (in dollar amounts) on timeshare condo and how they are getting screwed due to legal jargon like "wherewithal " and "heretofore"
  10. Tells us about rat infestation in their old house
  11. 2:30 we eat lunch
  12. Talks about granddaughter she's raising due to her own daughter's drug habit
    Debates with Pete about whether or not they should report her daughter/his sister to DSS
  13. Describes granddaughter's yeast infection
    Remember, granddaughter is present. Also, she's 10.
  14. Talks about granddaughter's first period
    Again, she's in 4th grade.
  15. 4:15 dessert is served
  16. Talks about granddaughter's struggle with diabetes as she gives granddaughter cake
  17. Tells us that granddaughter weighs 188 pounds
    10 YEARS OLD
  18. MEANWHILE...Pete's step-children continually run through the house with toy guns playing with 7 year old neighbor
    Step-children are age 16 and 21 (to be fair, 16yo is autistic)
  19. 4:45 we finally leave, despite Pete and wife's insistence that we "stick around for awhile"
  20. Things that did not happen: any question or conversation topic geared toward me or bf
  21. UPDATE: I just saw Pete for the first time in 3 months and within 30 seconds he was describing his kidney stone surgery and how they had to pull a string out of his penis