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Let's face it, no one wants to work during the holidays.
- •Eat my own shit.
- •Let my cat into my bedroom at night.
- •Pull my toenails out with pliers.
Everyone needs a television dad.
- •Clear liquor is for rich women on diets.
- •Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat. And cats are useless.
- •Nothing is worse than lying. Except for skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.
- •At Chipotle.
- •Because duh.
I am a typical white girl. Of course I use emojis.
- •😎I'm cool. So is this guy. You knows he's an emoji and he is OWNING it. Also often used in my conversations as a portrayal of Stevie Wonder.
- •🔥Sometimes you just wanna burn everything to the ground.
- •💉Other times you're just feeling stabby.