LIFE LESSONS FROM RON SWANSON
Everyone needs a television dad.
- •Clear liquor is for rich women on diets.
- •Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat. And cats are useless.
- •Nothing is worse than lying. Except for skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.
- •Crying is only acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
- •Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.
- •History began on July 4th, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.
- •Luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.
- •Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.Suggested by @stars
- •Friends: one to three is sufficient.Suggested by @applesarahgate
- •Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.Suggested by @mlh
- •Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.Suggested by @chelsnunnenkamp