17 Reactions I Had To Seeing "Donald Trump" Had Followed Me
So I randomly check my phone this morning, when I see...THIS:
- •Reaction #1: "What in the fuck?"
- •Reaction #2: "WHAT IN THE FUCKITY FUCK?"
- •Reaction #3: "I mean, OBVIOUSLY, it's not the real Drumpf. OF COURSE it's a parody..."
- •Reaction #4: "...but god, can you imagine if it actually WAS that Doritos-coloured, dead cat fur-haired fuckwit?"
- •Reaction #5: "For one thing, he'd probably immediately sue you for calling him a Doritos-coloured, dead cat fur-haired fuckwit."
- •Reaction #6: "(Though it's not like that's the worst thing anyone's ever called him, that lecherous loud-mouthed lunatic licker of Satan's balls.)"
- •Reaction #7: "Oops! Did it again! I'm really in for it now from his HUUUUUGE-ly overworked legal team, aren't I?"
- •Reaction #8: "Well, in for a penny..."
- •Reaction #9: "If that really WAS him, I would really really really really REALLY dread to see how he'd react to all the incalculably uncountable amounts of insults I've impotently flung through cyberspace for him to never read over the years, that...stupendously execrable flapper of his Ant-Man-sized hands!"
- •Reaction #10: "That...Scotland-destroying golf course tyrant!"
- •Reaction #11: "That...wankbrained defender of actual rapists, xenophobic accuser of imaginary rapists, and probable selfsame rapist of his ex-wife, which he probably got away with because his lawyer said that marital rape isn't a thing, and because he's a rich white man, so OF COURSE he gets away with anything and everything!"
- •Reaction #12: "That...demonstrably demonic defiler of everything good!"
- •Reaction #13: "That...sucker of souls, devourer of light, divider of people, applier of Oompa Loompa blood to his skin and tiny chickpea balls!"
- •Reaction #14: "That...tax return-avoiding, improbable Mexico Wall-promising, shitty steak-shilling, Hitler rhetoric-spouting, Drumpf name-hiding, Fox News-loving ARSE HEAD AND HOLE!"
- •Reaction #15: "Oh, and don't forget..."
- •Reaction #16: "Jack OUT."
- •Reaction #17: "(Man, that was a lot of emotions to feel before 9:30 in the morning...)"