I don't want to be one of those feminists who is for all women except the ones she rolls her eyes at. So, I'm getting the below out of my system and then get in the bus guys you're coming too.
  1. Wealthy Candle-Pony-Woman with Spacial Delusions
    Maria Menudos as Lumiere SHOCKED to encounter other people in her city. Your bag just brushed her shoulder and her facial reaction...mother of god IS THERE A DOCTOR BREATHE DAMN IT STAY WITH ME GLORIA
  2. Retail terror vocals
    Normal voice chatting with other Gap workers then customer approaches and voice morphs into horrific chickadee tar-gargle whistle entire cast of the Hills singing Carol of the Bells Jennifer Tilly eating glass through Ave Maria do spaniels faint when you speak but ok I love you I see you I am you
  3. Yoga teacher who is Oprah Merlin
    Your inside voice and travel mug make me want to spend my savings at a vitamin store and put my mascara in the fireplace but also do you ever just scream in a Duane reade I feel like if I googled you I'd find some dark shit?
  4. my mom
    Mooned us every day from the porch en route to school, when I got fired from something (the Sylvia Plath musical workshop if you must know keep it moving keep it light) she came over and patted my head for an hour humming songs and drawing little messages on my back while I sobbed. When she ran out of songs she did a spiritual rendering of the folgers jingle.
  5. My upstairs neighbor
    Ok raising twin toddlers by herself and working full time..I was ready to serve business to her about how her kids sound like they wear marble timberlands all day and instead three beers later my hand was over my heart begging her forgiveness but these children truly wear anvil-socks when they sense I'm at peace but love you girl proud proud
  6. Friend of a friend with the hair and the answers
    Oh god we're alone. Um...where's, how is your, do you...I have nothing. That...seeeeemed like a compliment you just gave me but I feel like it was actually a kiehls covered tampon-shank. Aaand we're talking about the moon. Where am I from? No idea, I'm so scared of you that I'm not entirely sure who the president is.
    (Myself.) Amazed at the world of selfies (but you don't hate your own face?!) and meditation (it's just you and you? But like...she sucks..) But learning guys learning and trying. Prolly need to go to a mountaintop with all the above women and trust-fall the living shit out of each other.