THINGS I USED TO DO WHEN I WAS HIGH FOR 8 YEARS STRAIGHT

Wake and bake to good night moon gravity bong hit, those were the days. Now pot makes me the WORST and can never again. But I do miss these things:
  1. Ride a razor scooter around new york
    I would put "circle of life" on my iPod and let the downward slope of 9th Ave do the TALKING. That means I went really fast
  2. Make chocolate soup
    From my roommate's personal foods. 1 cup brownie mix, 2 cups Hershey's syrup, a few tbs of white sugar, and milk for calcium. Microwave. Stir / whisk as needed. Enjoy in front of Flavor of Love. Plz take notes @gabimoskowitz
  3. Play "It's Only Water"
    You pour water on each other. Clothes/ personal items get wet but it's ok bc only water
  4. Go to Phish shows
    Still do this but it's more nostalgia and less "the bass line is coming from inside my spine and I'll pee here no problem." Now I need a seat number and coconut water.
  5. Go to acting class
    Once we were all doing Endgame for scene study, and all the Hamms (miser in wheelchair) had to go to one wall and Clovs (Igor-like slaveguy) to the other, and the assignment was to in super slow motion over the course of 25 min meet in the middle and fight to the death. I was Ray-Charles-level-high and almost passed away somewhere around minute 6. 4738 other moments like this come to mind, may be for another list.
  6. Have social courage
    I am awkward now but as a stoner I was on fire. I'm asking you about your childhood, I'm dancing with that guy, I'm having an emotional cigarette with that girl, I'm harmonizing with the bodegaman, I'm Cosmo Kramer with spaghetti straps
  7. Camel. Lights.
    Think of you guys every day, love you be strong, mom had to leave for a while, see you in 55 years when I revamp (RV, slot machines)
  8. Be the worlds worst waiter
    A customer once asked for chopsticks. I brought him Chapstick.
  9. "Oh my god, I'm driving"
    What if you had a baby the day after you got pregnant? What memories of mine are real, and what are things I confused with movies? Would I rather swim in puke pudding or drink an entire tub of OH MY GOD IM DRIVING
  10. GO CHRISTMAS CAROLLING
    I'm obsessed with Christmas, and as a stoney elf I was post-epiphany Ebenezer Scrooge all DAE. I went to a Jesuit theatre school, so most of my friends were gay men who grew up singing hymns and showtunes. Everyone knew all the descants / harmonies..it was..groundbreaking? we rehearsed over 73937 bong hits and then took it to the streets/ subways. One year we sang silent night to this solo dude on a bike in the snow and tears started rolling down his face and then we all cried.