Juuuust before i fall asleep, one of these fuckers comes into my brain
  1. Santa at subway stop
    There was a homeless man who looked like a vintage Santa at Hoyt-Schermerhorn stop, and I was listening to Joni and thought, this man could have been one of our fathers, he's beautiful, my god he's walking towards me, will we speak? We are two mere beingsPANTS-DOWN-SHITS-ON-STAIRS-LIFE-RUINED.
  2. Haiti
    My boyfriend built compostable toilets while I coughed into the sun and did nothing. the day we drove out of the village a bunch of kids ran behind the truck screaming "wait, wait, wait, wait"
  3. Mom in Barnes and noble
    Years ago there was ONE dude that I had played one night stand PERFECTLY with and said all the right cool things to make him believe I was Emily Dickinson in booty shorts and then my mom and I ran into him at B&N and everything came crashing down and in one horrific convo he saw I was really Seuss in a used diaper
  4. Pre-puberty high school musicals
    Tonight we have a palsied Christopher Robin giving you a full straddle-chair dance in Cabaret, and next we have a Zac Hanson with rosacea reaaaally hurting himself in a sharks vs jets mambo face-off
  5. This 7th grade poem
    "I got too much baggage and too small a trunk/ I'm only telling you this cuz I'm drunk/...am I beautiful now?" I was talking about a breakup at a Montessori field day. Had never drank or been complimented on looks...confusing dramaturgy