TIMES WHEN I WAS LIKE "...SURE"

  1. 1.
    Magician school visit same day of terrible mushroom trip
    We were rushing back to dorm from woods for brain safety- screamed past a tennis practice and had to be ushered through a REVOLUTIONARY WAR REENACTMENT (CANNONS. CANNONS.) finally burst into dorm lobby where a fumbling magician was mid-request for a volunteer. I will never forgive you Mrs. lytle
  2. 2.
    On "cool off" walk around childhood home found horrific indication that mom is beyond help
    Meerkat lights.
  3. 3.
    Having to fake-hang myself on stage
    In a play - quickchange into full body harness executed by stoned 19 year olds (MY PENANCE) who would whisper-shout to me as I ran back onstage "wait it's not-!! Nevermind should be ok" and 45 minutes of harrowing stage time later Id climb to the top of a ladder, put a noose around my neck and step off, being like bye guys
  4. 4.
    When it was explained to me that the medicine had to be injected daily into my dogs penis
    K
  5. 5.
    Today when my therapist lit a cigarette in the room
    Then another. She's 81
  6. 6.
    When a Dunkin donuts manager asked if I needed a ride from the bus when I was 16
    HOW AM I ALIVE
  7. 7.
    Alien vs predator 2 audition
    "Can you do one where you come in and mime disrobing, turn and see predator? And then we'll do the same but with Alien." THIS IS REAL. THIS IS REAL. MAY ALL TAPES GO WITH THE RAPTURE.
  8. 8.
    Spring break 2004 Bahamas
    Terrible.
  9. 9.
    All of 2004
  10. 10.
    1997 when a girl in Times Square thought I was Zac Hanson
    Yes it's me
  11. 11.
    When Apollo 13 is on