WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO MEN WHO HARASS ME ON THE STREET
It's getting warmer, which means it's the beginning of street harassment season! As I mentioned in a previous list, I have tits the size of pudding-engorged manatee pups, so every day (every day!) men on the street say really disgusting things and sometimes if I'm lucky they follow me! Here are some of the things I want to shout back.
- •I SHIT MY PANTS AT WORK IN 2014FACE IT SIR IT HAPPENED
- •I STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSIONI HEAR YOU THAT YOU WANT TO LICK IT BUT WHAT IF WE PLAN A LICK DAY AND ITS ONE OF MY PAJAMAYOUTUBESADSAD DAYS? DO 5 BOWLS OF OLD CEREAL COUNT AS NUTRIENTS SIR COME BACK
- •I VERY MUCH HAVE MY PERIODAND MY INABILITY TO BUY TAMPONS IN ADVANCE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY I DONT DESERVE HAPPINESS SIT DOWN SIR THIS WILL TAKE A WHILE I WAS BORN IN JULY SERIOUSLY YOU'RE GONNA WANT A CHAIR
- •DID I MENTION I SHIT MY PANTS AT MY WORKPLACE VERY RECENTLY
- •BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! TZEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
- •*slowly turn* *over course of 3 min give mouth-birth to whole dead rat*SIR WAIT YOU'RE THE FATHER
- •"Really inspiring closing arguments today counsellor"This one said by another woman to me, then a basketball rolls to my feet and I make a basket 6 blocks away from hoop, and I buy myself a Carvel with rainbow sprinkles and fade into New York like the end of tootsie