HOW I MET MY HUSBAND TO BE ❤️

Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. He likes to tell people that we met on a match.com date
  2. I was on a match.com date with a tiny man who only wanted to talk about being a Freemason
    I hated him instantly. He was SO short and SO boring. Sidenote: I was meeting him after work and I forgot he was tiny and accidentally wore super high wedges that day. I bought flats before our date so I wouldn't tower over him. I STILL DID and I'm 5'7".
  3. Also, I was kind of going through a conspiracy theory phase at the time and so a part of me freaked about the Freemason thing
    I was like, "I KNOW TOO MUCH AND THEY'VE SENT SOMEONE AFTER ME" but he was too stupid and low level to actually be a threat, so I quickly dismissed those (crazy) thoughts. It was a paranoid time, folks. I was HEAVY into weed.
  4. We were at a comedy show
  5. Where my future husband was the comedian on stage
  6. When John was on stage, I felt like I knew him
    Like we had met before, in a past life or something
  7. His jokes were so clever and I felt like he was in my head
    Like, I always struggled with words and had trouble getting thoughts from my head out of my mouth. It was as if he was the missing link in my brain, perfectly articulating my thoughts in a humorous way.
  8. After the show, I shook his hand and made eye contact and got those fluttery feelings
  9. And then I walked out with my date to the parking lot and said goodbye to him
    I didn't even kiss him, I gave him an awkward hug and then watched him drive off
  10. Then had thoughts about going back inside to talk to the comedian.
  11. BUT I CHICKENED OUT AND DROVE HOME
  12. The whole way home I was chewing myself out for not having the guts to go back inside to talk to John
  13. So when I got home, I stalked him online and found his Facebook profile and sent him the following message:
    Side note: That's not my number anymore, INTERNET STALKERS
  14. He responded to my message and we briefly texted at 1am. I made plans to come back the next night and see his show again.
  15. I brought my best friend and her husband with me this time
  16. After the show, when I went up to talk to him, another comic cut me off to give him a hug and talk to him
  17. So I chickened out and instead of waiting, I WALKED OUT INTO THE PARKING LOT
  18. My friend and her husband yelled at me until I went back inside
  19. It was awkward and uncomfortable and people kept coming up to him to shake his hand
  20. He invited me to come back after his second show and meet him at the bar across the street for drinks
  21. So after waiting a couple hours in between at my friend's house, I did
  22. There were other comedians there. He bought me a beer and put his arm around me a bunch, which I dug
  23. He was staying at the comedy condo with the other comic from the show and invited me back
  24. I agreed (😬)
  25. He walked me out to my car, and I tried to open the door, but he came up behind me, closed the door and kissed me
  26. Then said, "I've been waiting to do that since you walked into the bar"
    Like, soooooo cheesy but I totally swooned. Also, it was a really good kiss. 😘
  27. Then I WENT HOME WITH HIM
  28. We spent some time talking in a park across from the condo, and made out some more
  29. And then went inside and had loud, awesome sex all night
    Sidenote: Sorry, other comic in the condo
  30. We spent some more nights in hotels a few times here and there over the next few months. I went out of town twice to meet him in other cities
  31. About 4 months after we met, he came to my apartment to stay for a week before he was due to move to NYC.
  32. And he just ended up staying and moving in with me instead
  33. And then I lost my job shortly after he moved in
    Unrelated
  34. So we started spending all of our time together and I started going on the road with him
  35. And we've been inseparable ever since
  36. 💑💏