RUMINATIONS

The anxiety struggle is real. Also, my mother in law isn't as monstrous as she sounds. But my actual mother IS A MONSTER. Another ongoing list.
  1. That time I gushed to my mother in law about the softest blanket I had been cuddling with all day and she told me it was the dog's blanket.
  2. That time I made a comment about something being bad for my guy's asthma and my MIL ran her finger across the top of my TV and said "This dust isn't good for his asthma either."
  3. That time I thought maple syrup came from another type of tree that wasn't a maple tree.
    I'm still not clear on this one, TBH
  4. That time my mom told me, after discussing wedding plans, that I should go on a diet because "No one wants to be a fat bride"
  5. That time in Junior High that I finally mustered up the courage to audition for a play (Grease, I would've KILLED as Jan) and when they called my name, I walked up the stairs and fell flat on my face. In front of everyone else who auditioned.
    Side note: What kind of cruel teacher/parent decided that we had to audition in front of FUCKING EVERYBODY?! (Dedicated to @ryanopolis because he was there) Also, John cried when I told him this story, because he felt so bad for 8th grade me.
  6. That time at the Paul Simon concert when I turned to the shitty teens behind me who were talking loudly about non-concert-related things and politely asked them to be quiet or step outside and then they screamed into the back of my head for the rest of the concert.
    I should have fucking punched the little assholes. But also, my bf at the time was a huge wuss and he should have fucking stood up for me. Ruined the concert.
  7. That time at my best friend's wedding reception when I added a song to the playlist that meant a lot to our friendship, and when it played she drunkenly screamed "NOOOOOOOOO!" and skipped it.
    A part of our friendship died that day.
  8. That time I fell asleep at a New Year's party and then farted so loud in my sleep that I woke myself up.