TIMES I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE SUNDAY

  1. Taking the F train to West 4th and being alone for most of the ride.
  2. Realizing the only person I knew in this group wasn't gonna be there.
  3. Walking into Stonewall. (Note: I felt instantly better when I realized t.a.t.u. was playing)
  4. When I got a free shot 4 whiskey and gingers in.
  5. When this short guy wouldn't leave me alone and sang all I want for Christmas is you, to me. Loudly.
  6. When the lesbians I met forced a tequila shot on me.
  7. When the bartender kept forcing me to kiss they guy I was standing next to.
  8. When I noticed my friends left me alone with some random guy from London.
  9. Deciding to walk with the random Guy to the L train.
  10. Waking up a sleeping cab driver when I decided I made a mistake walking.
  11. Waiting for the L train.
  12. Having to puke 3 stops in.
  13. Having the ransom guy follow me off the train.
  14. When I decided not to wake up my friends who's stop I realized it was at. Because I didn't want them to see me this drunk.
  15. Trying to take a cab and getting 3 blocks before I had to puke again.
  16. Getting a Lyft line (when I requested a personal Lyft) and homeboys Cologne was not doing it.
  17. When the moment hit me I was gonna have to sleep in a park in Williamsburg. (Instead of going to my friends, blocks away
  18. Getting a few more blocks before i had to leave a cab again.
  19. At this point I'd like to point out I figured I could just keep taking cabs a couple blocks without paying.
  20. When I got an Uber and wasn't sure it was my house for a moment.
  21. ALL. MONDAY. ALL IF IT.