Personal Statistics I Want To See At the End of My Life

  1. Drank 1,000,000,000 glasses of wine/champagne
  2. Gave infinity hugs
  3. Had the longest & deepest laugh lines
    Alternately: her witch cackle broke the sound barrier
  4. Spent more than she made on presents
  5. Successfully watched every single episode of 30 Rock, The Office, and Doctor Who. Many times over.
  6. Danced like a goof 100% of the time
    Alternately: Made her family laugh with her AND at her 100% of the time
  7. Made @ian_west happy 100% of the time
  8. Made her parents proud 99% of the time
    No one's perfect, don't judge me!!
  9. Spent 85% of her time with family
    Me, Kathy & Slagger at a winery. Not pictured: My parents, aunt Amy & uncle Johnny!
  10. Set 1 purse on fire
    By accident! 🔥
  11. Got her grandparents into: 1 photobooth at their surprise 50th anniversary party
    Pop pop 😂😂
  12. 95% of her relationships were 10+ years long
    L: 2016 R: 2007
  13. Was a good sister 99% of the time
    She used to steal my clothes, that biotch!
  14. Got Nanny Nawny to: vote in her first election in 2016!
  15. Was happy 95% of the time
    Hey, I'm only human! Shit happens!