(according to me)
  1. "I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months, I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico."
  2. "it's Halloween. that is really really good timing"
  3. "Clarice"
  4. "then suddenly...she ain't yo ho no mo"
  5. "got it a week after we started dating"
  6. "I need a username and I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". that way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."
  7. "Today smoking is going to save lives"
  8. "Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would have been creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me."