1. "Never underestimate a good black t-shirt. No one can tell if you spill cocaine or bbq sauce on it."
  2. "Always dress like you're trying to piss off the rest of your family."
  3. "Arm tattoos are totally rad, bro. Make sure you get some tribal ones so people know not to fuck with you."
  4. "Makes sure you roll with a dope ass crew, like Mystery or Hoobastank."
  5. "Socks are the most important part of any outfit. That's why I always wear the same pair, day after day, without ever changing them."
  6. "We all go bald sometime. Shit, Kim hasn't had real hair on her head since 7th grade!"
  7. "You gotta have that black hat, though. That's how normal people can tell you're famous."
  8. "Don't let your sisters try out their makeup in you first, no matter how much they scream at you."