I'm 26 and married, so I must be pregnant, says my male coworker. My responses to his subsequent badgering:
  1. Haha, no! Not really planning that for awhile, but I'll let you know!
  2. Nope! I'm actually eating saltine crackers because I'm cheap, not because of morning sickness.
  3. No. No I'm not, thanks. When I want you to know I'm pregnant, I'll let you know.
  4. You do realize you could be stepping in it by asking that, right?
  5. How would you feel if I'd just had a miscarriage? Why are you still laughing?
  6. No! I'm not pregnant! And if you give me a second, I'll give you some proof!
  7. *openly drinks alcohol at desk daily with a cigar chaser*