1. "Hi, who joined?"
  2. "Let's continue that discussion offline."
    Read: "You know all these bitches still listenin', right?"
  3. "Circle back"
    Great, another call
  4. "I'll have to go back and look into that."
    Read: "This is a dumb question" and/or "I am unprepared."
  5. "Buckets"
    Everything seems to break into buckets. WTFever those are.
  6. "Drill down"
    Not from my own work experience but a friend who's seemingly on calls 75% of her work life. Painful way to ask someone to get to the bottom of something.
    Suggested by @ladyprofessor
  7. "Ping me"
    This one is my husband's least favorite. I am very grateful that calls are not really part of what I have to do every day.
    Suggested by @ladyprofessor
  8. "_______, are you on?"
    Suggested by @anasha
  9. "Sorry, was talking on mute"
    Riiiiiiight. You were actually doing something else and realized that long pause was everyone waiting for you to talk. Nobody believes you.
    Suggested by @BWN_7
  10. [UNBEARABLE NOISE] "Sorry I'm in an airport."
  11. 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶 "Sorry. I'm working from home today." 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
  12. "I think we can wrap this up early, I can give everyone back __ minutes of their day!"
    Rarely happens, but when it does I always want to shout "CAN I ALSO HAVE BACK THE 10 SECONDS YOU WASTED CONGRATULATING YOURSELF??!?!" But I just hang up instead.
    Suggested by @BWN_7
  13. "We'll need the revised deck by Friday, why don't you take the lead on that Jim?"
    The whole 'deck' think used to drive me mad, like a deck is so much better than slides or powerpoint. And 'take the lead' a way of getting someone else to do your crap but trying to make them feel leader-y
    Suggested by @LeahHaydock
  14. "I'm not sure my department has the bandwidth for that right now"
    Suggested by @LeahHaydock
  15. "Where's the low-hanging fruit here?"
    Suggested by @LeahHaydock