The @mindy BFF Sweepstakes Rules [satire]

I have gathered that the majority of li.sters are competing in a special, fictional sweepstakes to be @mindy 's new best friend. I haven't seen the official rules, but based on current practices, I have deduced the game goes something like this:
  1. 1.
    Community members may enter simply by adding @mindy in any list or comment, even if it doesn't belong. Limit one entry per day.
  2. 2.
    @listbot will review all entries. Those @mindy references most haphazardly inserted with almost no valid reason will be rewarded a bonus entry.
  3. 3.
    On the final Friday of each month, @listbot selects a winner at random.
  4. 4.
    @mindy surprises that li.ster by showing up at their door unannounced with $75 worth of food and beverages furnished by Trader Joes.
  5. 5.
    She hang outs for a period of time that shall not be fewer than 120 minutes and shall not exceed 149 minutes.
  6. 6.
    Activities may include watching television, reading aloud and eating roasted red pepper-flavored items from Trader Joes.
  7. 7.
    Activities explicitly off-limits include improv games and hair-braiding.
  8. 8.
    No purchase necessary, unless you want to pitch in for the roasted garlic hummus. What are you, a fucking monster? She flew all the way to your house and spent the night slapping your hand away from her hair. The least you could do is toss over some chickpea pennies.
  9. 9.
    Good luck!
  10. 10.
    (Here's hoping)