The Worst Date I've Ever Been on 😖

Inspired by @ListPrompts. Here are the deets.
  1. A very early date after I came out
  2. TGI Fridays
  3. Tuesday, 5:15 p.m.
  4. A few cocktails
  5. Word count, me: 25 (approx.)
  6. Word count, him: 50 million (approx.)
  7. "I think we're ready for the check. Separate."
  8. "Here are your checks. Yours is on top, and you're the bottom." (100% backward in the non-check sense.)
  9. Awkward hug
  10. 2 voicemails
  11. Return call: "I don't think we have a real spark."
  12. "Oh. Wow. I didn't see that coming. The old me would think it's my fault. But now I realize it's yours."