Things Conspiring Against ME

  1. Everything in my home that requires a battery
    They've been working together for months to lose their juice at the same goddamn time so they can weakly giggle when I have to get off the couch, out of bed or up from my desk shouting, "What the fuck, you little bitch? You too? Right fucking now? Seriously. Goddammit! I mean, shit.... Fuck."