Uber Moments: A Running Live List

We've all had fucked-up shit happen. Here's where we share during the ride.
  1. "I don't know how long you've been taking Uber or if you like us, but let me give you a code to get some free rides from Lyft."
  2. I know how pot smells, and this is it.
  3. "Welcome. This is my copilot, Sidney."
    A fucking pug. I got no problem with dogs in general. But I'm not here to smell like one and did not expect any living thing to sniff my crotch in a back seat for at least a couple more hours (or months).
  4. Driver: "These kids were popping pills in here last week on their way to a club and tried to give me one. The girl said, 'Just pretend it's an Altoid.' I said, 'Sorry, but I don't do anything stronger than a Tic Tac.'"
  5. On Halloween my uber driver bought me (16) & my boyfriend (17) alcohol before driving us to a party
    Suggested by   @nerd