Why the Cable Guy Thinks I'm a Nutjob
He was here 10 minutes and heard me say these things.
- •On the phone to a coworker: "Who added 'literally' to this thing? Bunch of idiots at this place."
- •To the microwave with its incessant reminder beeps: "Oh my God, I hear you. It's just soup! I mean, Jesus Christ!"
- •"Never tell my mom I had company without making my bed."
- •"Hey! That's TV!"