THE REASONS I CAN'T HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW
- •My hamstrings are tight.
- •None of my "good underwear" are clean.
- •I'm uncertain about the effect my last meal will have on my digestive system.
- •I want to get stoned and, if I do, it'll be like the Sahara down there.
- •My apartment is messy.
- •Your apartment is gross.
- •I don't feel like washing my sheets. Before or after.
- •It's too hot.
- •It's too cold.