MY HOUSEWIFE TAGLINE FOR EVERY YEAR OF MY TWENTIES

Sorry in advance. These are terrible.
  1. "I'm not out of my mind, just freshly out of the closet."
    21
  2. "Sex is my aphrodisiac."
    22
  3. "I might be dating a photographer but in my Brooklyn efficiency apartment? I call the shots."
    23-26
  4. "Some people say I drink too much but, hey, have you seen my keys?"
    27
  5. "Some people say I smoke too much weed and ::long giggle:: Wait, can we make a retake?"
    28
  6. "I might be 90% vegeterian but I have *no* problems getting protein."
    29