Mother's Day Gift Ideas

  1. Flowers
  2. A potted plant
  3. NOT a framed picture of Cersei and Jaime Lannister kissing
  4. A gift certificate to JC Penney
  5. Brunch at a local eatery
  6. A collection of Joe Pesci films (MY COUSIN VINNY and HOME ALONE 2 not included)
  7. A porch swing
  8. Easing dread you won't die alone; if not currently dating anyone, hire an escort to meet your mom
  9. Some of that shitty jewelry Jane Seymour hocks