Today is not my birthday, let me just say that right off the bat. I don't usually celebrate it for various reasons, some are listed below. These are random thoughts on random birthdays. Photos from insta.
  1. I've shared my birthday with my cousin whose birthday was the day before. He always had a party. I got a shout out.
  2. I had my first birthday party when I was 16, which was also a surprised birthday party. I hate surprises but their heart was in the right place.
    However, my birthday party gets lumped in with a family scandal. "Oh the affair!" It's been a weird association for me, but not as weird as the other people involved. The couple who were having an affair are still together so good on them. Love can be messy.
  3. One birthday I woke up to the news that my cousin* had died in a car crash. It was devastating. My birthday was an afterthought to sadness if it was a thought at all. We were the same age. Wear your seatbelts. Please.
    *he was the cousin of my brother-in-law, no actual relation but I'm closer to my brother-in-law's family than my own. I love them and feel loved by them.
  4. One year my birthday has been forgotten entirely. It was better this way. I felt guilty for having one when John didn't.
    Ever listened to Flight of the Concords "Hurt Feelings" the line "the day after my birthday is not my birthday, mum" makes me laugh/cry each time.
  5. One year on my birthday I was kicked out of my house.
    The start of 6 months of homelessness and realizing that there are amazing people who will help you if you let them.
  6. One year on my birthday I spent the night with an ex because it was better than being alone
    One of my lowest points. Worse than being homeless.
  7. My cousin's* now wife was born on the same day. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding. She is amazing and I share this day with her gladly.
    *same note as above
  8. One year my colleagues decorated my office for my birthday not knowing how this gesture would fill my heart.
  9. One year on my birthday my niece was born. She is my greatest gift.
    This is an incredibly old photo that I love because she is just so done. It's the day of her baptism and it was probably the millionth photo being taken. She's all sass.
  10. Since then I try to create happy memories for her on this day.
  11. I play one song every year on my birthday as well as New Years Day.