I called to wish my mom "Happy Diwali" and she asked these questions:

My responses are included.
  1. Are you coming over for dinner?
    No mom, I live 5 hours away from you. If I was coming over for dinner I would be there right now.
  2. Are you fasting?
    You know I'm not Hindu, right? So no, I'm not.
  3. Do you want me to save you any food?
    Sure, go ahead.
  4. Happy Diwali any listers celebrating.