I Don't Feel Like A Survivor

Not this week.
  1. I didn't post on @veshecco list MY SURVIVOR FACE because this past weekend I didn't feel like I earned the title of a "survivor"
  2. I had a night a few days ago that I can only describe as one of the worst and terrifying nights in recent history (or ever - I'm not in the mood to rank tragedies or hardships)
  3. I don't want to get into the details because that's not what's important. Things were shitty and when things are shitty I can get myself out of it. I'm supposed to.
  4. This time I couldn't.
  5. I gave up.
  6. I resigned myself to whatever fate was about to happen.
  7. I broke.
  8. I stopped fighting.
  9. I didn't know how to survive.
  10. A stranger fought harder for my life than I did.
  11. I'm incredibly disappointed at myself. I'm supposed to be the only person I can rely on and I couldn't even do that.
  12. I don't know what's next.
  13. What comes after realizing that you can't save yourself?