I Hate Weddings*, But Here Is My Dream Wedding
I've never felt that I needed to get married, it's never been goal. If do get married it's because it's important to my partner, like I've told my mom, I'm okay with living in sin. So below would be my almost non-negotiable terms of my wedding.
- •The venue would be on the roof of a high rise. Yeah I'm afraid of heights but the ceremony and reception needs to be under the stars. White Christmas lights everywhere, the only decor needed, really.No church. No religious service please, but again if it's important to future husband then we can have conversation about how many times God is invoked. Hopefully no reading of letters to the Corinthians, though. I gotta draw the line somewhere.
- •Forty guests tops.
- •No bridesmaids, maid of honour, groomsmen, best man.There's 40 of you, you're kind of already the cream of the crop why do we need to pick favourites?
- •I believe in dancing down the isle. Preferably to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" or Florence and the Machine's "Dog Days Are Over".Guests have to dance as well.
- •No traditional or sappy vows.
- •No "I do"We're both gonna say "dude, I got you". We may high five instead of kissing... Actually we'll do both.
- •No speeches.Don't even try to toast. We're here to eat, drink and be merry.
- •No wedding cake.I love beautifully decorated cakes but I'm not doing that whole cake cutting charade while trying to look natural and cute. Desserts will be a available for guests. I don't care for dessert, I'm more about second dinner kind of person.
- •Menu is going to be low-key. By the time I get married I would have found the best Chicken Shwarma place and they will cater.Second dinner will include burgers. No utensils allowed.
- •No first dance.How odd is it for people to watch you dance?
- •First song will be The Cure "One More Time"For the lyrics "I'd love to touch the sky, so take me in your arms". This might explain why we're on a roof. Yes I've planned my wedding around a song by the Cure. Some girls used catalogs I use gothy-romantic songs.
- •Last song will be Broken Social Scene "Lover's Spit (Redux)" Feist's version.For the lyrics "It's time that we grow old and do some shit"
- •Music in between will be 80s hits, 90s hip hop and 00s indie rock.I'm flexible with including genres and decades beyond this but this is primarily what's going down.
- •The Smiths reunite just to play "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"Hey, it's my dream wedding so I'm dreaming big.
- •If I get married and have a wedding I just want to have a party with the people that matter. And I want to control the playlist.That's all.
- •*While I have said that I hate weddings, I will admit to always finding a moment of genuine emotion at the weddings I have attended.Yeah I get teary-eyed. I'm not made of stone, people.