Reasons I'm Basically an Elderly

I'm only 16, but you wouldn't be able to tell
  1. Fun Friday Nights: Jigsaw puzzles
  2. Your music is too loud
  3. 8:30 bedtime
    Except when I'm thinking too much then it's 2:30
  4. Kids these days
  5. Pesky teens
  6. Calling everyone "handsome young man"
  7. I live for old lady gossip
  8. "No I didn't go to the party I was catching up on my tv programs"
    Also I wasn't invited
  9. Use words like "swell" "horse feathers" and "golly"