1. How long will I be here until any form of human life comes to rescue me?
  2. How is it every time I want to poop alone, there are 15 people in the restroom; however, now, there hasn't been one person for 15 minutes?
  3. Can I reach under this next stall without falling off?
    ...that was a no.
  4. Am I willing to throw away any garment of clothing currently on my being?
  5. Maybe I can listen to Shake It Off for inspiration?
  6. This shit does not happen to men.
    *unless they are shitting
  7. This is why we go to the bathroom in groups, by the way. Survival techniques.
    *And lipgloss sharing.
  8. Can your butt go numb from sitting here longer enough?
  9. Should I call someone nearby? Maybe the manager of the establishment? How much is my dignity worth?