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Being a good wingman (or wingwoman) is a selfless act and specialized skill. Here are some items guaranteed to make your evening of winging a success.
  1. 1.
    Drink money (as the Wingman, it’s likely your friend’s date will only pay for her)
  2. 2.
    Gum (not for yourself)
  3. 3.
    Hairspray (also not for yourself)
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Still not sure he’s your boyfriend? It happens. In the meantime, use these suggested titles when introducing your man. “Hi everyone, I’d like you to meet my . . . ”
  1. Main Melon
  2. Man of Honor
  3. Kind Sir
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  1. YOU: Start a book club. HE: Starts a fight club. COMPROMISE: After an intriguing dissection of the latest John Grisham novel, your friends exchange blows to decide who picks next week’s book.
  2. YOU: Enjoy walking around the farmers market on the weekend. HE: Plays flag football with the boys on Sundays. COMPROMISE: Give him a concussion when he least expects it as you hike a baby squash towards him at the market. Just like football! Samesies.
  3. YOU: Throw a low-key New Years Eve dinner party. HE: Goes to a rager in at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas. COMPROMISE: Throw a dinner party at home but hire a tough bouncer to guard the door and charge all of his friends a cover fee but let your girl friends in for free.
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For when your date is the worst person ever.
  1. My roommate is having a funeral tonight for our fern that died. Peace out!
  2. I forgot to take my schizophrenia medication. “Shut up, Carla!” “No, you shut up!” Ciao!
  3. I’m trying to win this scavenger hunt. Thanks for knocking “dinner with a stranger” off the list. Bye!
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Because meeting IRL is hard.
  1. Would you rather go bald or go blind?
  2. I was a twin, would you like me more or less?
  3. Did you know that grapes explode in the microwave?
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