People I Would Like To Be For A Day
I've always wondered what it would be like to be another person.
- •Donald TrumpI could cheat on my wife and no one would care.
- •Debbie from AccountingShe drives a BMW with eyelashes. They're tacky and I hate them.
- •My dogI COULD PEE ON ANYTHING!
- •Jim the ButcherI've always wondered what it feels like to have tattoos.
- •Merrloth the UnconquerableHe's unconquerable. What more could you ask for?
- •The guy who wrote the "Friends" theme songI'd transfer the copyright over to my real self so I could pay for college.
- •Vin DieselI mean, just look at those arms. Does he have a permit for those guns?
- •Sheila, my dentistShe's also my exes' dentist.
- •Kevin in 32CNo reason, he just seems pretty chill.
- •Rolie Polie OlieThat motherfucker's happy about goddamn near everything. Like, shit. Look at that cute fucking smile. The bastard has no clue.