BAD THINGS THAT I AM REALLY GOOD AT

I wouldn't say I'm proud, but I also wouldn't say I'm not proud.
  1. Flaking on plans.
    I am a tremendous, fantastic flaker. Ya girl has always got an excuse. Usually lazy/anxiety related.
  2. Finding my glasses
    This is bad, because it naturally means that I lose my glasses. A lot. And I don't have contacts. Try looking for the very thing you need to look for things with, and tell me how hard your life is.
  3. Coming up with every possible (negative) outcome to any situation
    Not only is this a classic act of a person with anxiety (me!) But also an incredible act of preparedness. Gimme my girl scout badge, please and thank you.
  4. Selfies
    Where narcissism meets validation. My kryptonite. Gimme some good lighting, a front facing camera, and some filters and I will take pictures of my own face for hours. And LOVE every second if it.
  5. Passive-aggression
    Many of the men in my life have accused me of withholding, and driving them crazy. The term "heartless" has been used on more than one occasion. If I feel unsafe or duped I will manipulate the situation with subtle passive-agressive tactics until I feel like I've regained control and am ultimately the one no longer vulnerable. And it is done using little acts I can't exactly be called out on, but are painful. Sometimes I can be so passive-aggressive *I* don't even realize I'm doing it.
  6. Oversharing
    Wanna know every detail of very personal aspects of my life? No? TOO BAD. Buckle up, bitches, and hold on to your hat.
  7. Apologizing for things that in no way require an apology
    If I didn't start my sentence with "I'm sorry, but..." I'm not sure I've actually even spoken. Sorry, I know it's annoying. And sorry for apologizing about being too apologetic.
  8. Procrastination
    I need to do a thing, but I will not do the thing until it is absolutely necessary. And crucial. And then I bust it out in half the time it deserves to be given. *cue the classic song "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit
  9. Wallowing
    I love to be sad. Sad books. Sad movies. Sad situations that I totally made up and fantasize about in my own mind.
  10. Self-degradation
    Please refer to the entire list above. CHEERS!