HOW TO PLAY HOOKIE FROM WORK
A list of to-do and to-don't (I'm aware of the grammatical error) on your day off from work
- •Scroll through your news feed on every platform -Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Venmo, List App etc.)
- •Once you're done browsing each medium, enough time will have passed that's there's fresh content in each. Repeat step 1.
- •Don't shower, brush your teeth, or deodorize
- •Get an unhealthy breakfast like a egg & bacon sandwich. You fucking deserve it, bro.
- •Take it to a place where a lot of professionals walk through. Swirl your iced coffee as they pass by.
- •Get on line for the water fountain with the homeless to wash your yokey fingers.
- •Get a $15 haircut because that's all you can afford (don't judge it until after you shower)
- •Break into your brother's apartment to take a shit and steal his golf clubs
- •Walk through Manhattan with 3 golf clubs. Anywhere else besides Manhattan you would look like a mad man.
- •Hit a bucket of balls at Chelsea Pier and coach a stranger on how to perfect their swing.
- •Take a cab from the West side back to your brother's because you're not lugging your clubs back 5 avenues
- •Go shopping at Marshall's for what you will wear tonight -- short sleeve button down, obvs
- •Laugh because it's only 1:00PM
- •Text your coworkers what you should do next, prepare for hateful responses.
- •Take a snooze at your brother's apartment because you're at a dead on No More Ideas Court
- •Once really active, start slowing down and become really lazy. Half-ass the rest of the day.