HOW TO PLAY HOOKIE FROM WORK

A list of to-do and to-don't (I'm aware of the grammatical error) on your day off from work
  1. Scroll through your news feed on every platform -Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Venmo, List App etc.)
  2. Once you're done browsing each medium, enough time will have passed that's there's fresh content in each. Repeat step 1.
  3. Don't shower, brush your teeth, or deodorize
  4. Get an unhealthy breakfast like a egg & bacon sandwich. You fucking deserve it, bro.
  5. Take it to a place where a lot of professionals walk through. Swirl your iced coffee as they pass by.
  6. Get on line for the water fountain with the homeless to wash your yokey fingers.
  7. Get a $15 haircut because that's all you can afford (don't judge it until after you shower)
  8. Break into your brother's apartment to take a shit and steal his golf clubs
  9. Walk through Manhattan with 3 golf clubs. Anywhere else besides Manhattan you would look like a mad man.
  10. Hit a bucket of balls at Chelsea Pier and coach a stranger on how to perfect their swing.
  11. Take a cab from the West side back to your brother's because you're not lugging your clubs back 5 avenues
  12. Go shopping at Marshall's for what you will wear tonight -- short sleeve button down, obvs
  13. Laugh because it's only 1:00PM
  14. Text your coworkers what you should do next, prepare for hateful responses.
  15. Take a snooze at your brother's apartment because you're at a dead on No More Ideas Court
  16. Once really active, start slowing down and become really lazy. Half-ass the rest of the day.