THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO AFTER REALIZING I'M AMERICAN

I'm from Ohio, but I'm studying in Scotland. Upon hearing my American accent, many people have the following responses. Do not do any of these things, please.
  1. Begin speaking in a Southern accent.
  2. Lecture me about how crazy gun advocates are.
    Yeah bud, we're on the same page. Please stop yelling at me now.
  3. Tell me a story about this one time you heard that this kid in Texas did something stupid. This anecdote is usually the only story they've heard from the States, so it naturally forms their opinion of the whole country.
    (Even though at times, this is justified)
  4. Ohio specific: When they hear I'm from Ohio, you can see them trying to think of ANYTHING they know about Ohio to talk about. Nothing happens in Ohio. So don't worry if you can't think of anything.
    The only thing that is ever said to me is, "Ohio... that's cool... ...That's where Glee is based, right?" The conversation about the U.S. typically ends here.