Things I Hate About Nye
New Year's Eve sucks ass. Why?
- •PeopleThey are fucking everywhere. Go home, people. You're crowding my space.
- •Fire crackersThe dumbass who came up with the whole "hey, let's get drunk and play with explosives" thing should be rubbed down with sandpaper.
- •PressureYou have to have fun. It has to be memorable. You've got to hang out with your friends. You must have a party. You can't not do anything. Oh yeah? Watch me have a miserable time all by myself and forget all about it later.
- •The actual new yearNew Year's is kind of like a birthday: a party intended to mask the underlying fact that I'm just getting older.
- •Next morning's jokes"I haven't taken a dump all year" etc. See my other list.