POSSIBLE REASONS STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON
Fountains of Wayne RIP
- •She's independently wealthy.Could be dope. Wouldn't have to buy dinner. Kinda be like your mom, too. But you could do her. Plus probably getting alimony. $$
- •Has a pool.Rad!
- •Husband walked out on her.Desperate for the D?
- •Goes on Business trips.A. Could bring you along. Maybe she does Bizness in Japan or The Carribean. B. You'll get the alone time you crave.
- •Has a lawn that needs to be mowed.Hellllllooooo HOMEOWNER!!
- •Has a towel.Towels are useful.
- •Has a daughter roughly your age.Think how funny it'd be to be like, "No. We aren't dating. This is my DAUGHTER, for Crissakes."