THINGS I REGULARLY SAY TO MY CAT

Proud crazy cat lady, checking in.
  1. What did you do today?
    Usually answered with a meow.
  2. Oh, and then what happened?
    After a series of meows, usually gets a puzzled look in response.
  3. Why are you so cute!?
    I mean, just look at this face!
  4. You stink!
    Post litter box use.
  5. Oh you stink so nice today!
    Snorgle time!
  6. Who's my good little bubba?
    Occasionally "who's my chubby bubba"
  7. Ugh, you knucklehead.
    At zoomies-o'clock
  8. Scritch your noggin/belly/butt?
    Cation: scratching a cat's belly can be hazardous to your health.
  9. No, no kitten.
    This is not an effective way to tell a cat "no" or stop his/her behavior