My Thoughts During My First Half Marathon

I ran my first half marathon today! I came in at a few minutes over 3 hours, which gave me a lot of time to do some thinkin'. Here is a sampling of those thoughts
  1. Alright starting line up! So pumped! I got A$AP Rocky blaring let's go!
  2. Wait that start was extremely anticlimactic.
    We literally just walked
  3. Alright I gotta good pace going now! We'll be done in no time
  4. Wait that was only mile 1? Oh my God I'm gonna die
  5. YES WATER GIVE ME WATER IT IS SO HOT
  6. Let's go let's go let's go people, 3 miles done
  7. *I essentially blacked out for miles 4 through 6, I'm assuming I was running the whole time?¿?*
  8. Mile 7! Runners high! Oh wait, no, never mind I'm crying
    Why am I getting emotional right now? What is happening to me? I'm listening to French Montana this is the last thing that should be happening
  9. There's a band along the route doing a cover of Cake's cover of "I will survive" and I am FEELING IT
  10. MILE 9 OH MY GOD I'VE NEVER RUN THIS MANY MILES BEFORE
  11. Oh thank God port o John's I've gotta pee
    This is when I realize how sticky my body is as I had to PEEL MY PANTS OFF OF MY LEGS TO GO IT WAS DISGUSTING
  12. Do I think Kylie Jenner type nails would do well while running?
    Like if you had Kylie's long pointy nails, do you think you could run a 5K with them? Do you think you'd get distracted? Do we think Kylie Jenner would ever run 13.1 miles just because? (This is a real thing I thought about for a good 2 miles)
  13. GATORADE IS AMAZING WOW I HAD NO IDEA
  14. It's been mile 12 for a billion years and I'm going to die
  15. MILE 13 OHMYGAAAAHHHH RUN YOU IDIOT RUN
  16. Someone give me a space blanket NOW
    A pic of me and my space blanket, that I love immensely
  17. BEER I NEED BEER. And maybe a water or a chocolate milk BUT MOSTLY BEER
  18. Oh sweet Jesus, it's actually over
  19. I'm gonna go pass out on the beach now