THINGS MY 80 YEAR OLD NEIGHBOR TOLD ME IN THE HOT TUB
I just nodded and smiled...
- •"Tyler, you have to live by the 4 F's. Find'em. Feel'em. Fuck'em. Forget'em."
- •"Did you know America has 4-5 unused concentration camps?"
- •"Heil Hitler!"
- •"You're going to see some major changes around here when Trump becomes president..."
- •"I almost threw up when that black fella almost kissed what's her face in that new space movie... Star Wars!"
- •"I used to crash weddings just to eat all the free food and to fuck broads."
- •"Obama just hates America. There's no other explanation for his actions."
- •"Tyler, you look pretty young. How many broads have you been through by now? 200? 300?"
- •"I've actually crashed 4 presidential dinners. You show a press pass and the young broads working at the door look at you like you're a God."
- •"You have to treat your body right. I didn't smoke, drink, do drugs. That's how I made it to 80. Male life expectancy is only 75, see?"While I downed my 3rd beer...