5 Reasons Not To Replace My Toaster

It only toasts one side
  1. I've convinced myself that one-sided toast is more genteel
  2. Finding another toaster that is long, skinny and cheap is apparently not easy
  3. In the event of an apocalypse I would be super appreciative to even have half-toasted bread, so
  4. Note to self: update list to be top 3 reasons