Christmas Dinner Conversation Topics

When the family gets together, the topics are far ranging.
  1. Boiled peanuts are disgusting.
  2. The Little Brown Church by the Landfill. Wait, that's not the name, is it?
  3. Remember that time Tessa threw up in her sleep and it was carrots and one noodle?
  4. Does Enya (the retriever) still get carsick?
  5. Yes, see, I told you that you needed to go potty.
  6. That dress makes you look like Jugsy Malone.
  7. How has no one ever called you Tessie, Tessa?
  8. Why does Sister Herman always put nuts in her Christmas fudge? You hate nuts.
  9. No, Daren won't eat onions. But Funyons? He's in.
  10. Get your hand out of your pants, Cohen.
  11. Mom: "What was that magazine you used to subscribe to? M*A*S*H?" Me: "No, Mom, that was MAD Magazine."