1. When I was a kid my mom explained one day that I had to start going to pre-school, and I asked her if school was something I'd have to do for a couple days of weeks or what...
  2. And she told me I'd basically be in school for about the next 20 years
  3. So I was immediately against it
  4. I hated pre-school.
  5. I didn't like the other kids
  6. I thought the teachers were phony
  7. The worst thing was coloring, which even then I recognized as busy work for when the teachers ran out of ideas
  8. One day they gave us pictures of rabbits playing in a field and I had a great idea--
  9. What if the scene was taking place at night?
  10. So I quickly colored the whole thing black--just scribbled black all over the page--and turned it in
  11. The teacher took a look at what I'd done and gave me another page to color, this one of a bear in people clothes
  12. I scribbled red all over this one and turned it in, and this time the teacher asked why I'd done that
  13. And I told her, He just fell down the stairs and he's all bloody
  14. I really thought his was incredibly clever, that id stumbled across a coloring loophole
  15. The teacher really thought there was something wrong with me
    Fair enough
  16. I had to go with her into this other little room where she asked me why I was unhappy and what what she could do for me
  17. I said, you could call the police and report my mother for abandoning me in this awful place
  18. I thought this was really funny
  19. She did not
  20. I had to stay off in this little room for the rest of the day, and at the end of the day when my mom came to pick me up the teacher told her she was aware of the abuse in our home and that she wouldn't tolerate it and all this
  21. I've got a couple other stories where my mom was accused of abusing me based on shit I said or did. She did not abuse me, she was fine
  22. So my poor mom freaks out at being accused and drags me off, out towards the car. The teacher followed and watched from the curb as my mom shoved me in the car and slammed the door....
  23. Right on my fucking hand
  25. And the teacher came running
  26. And my mom tore out of the parking lot
  27. And we never went back to that pre-school
  28. A year later I ended up at another one though
  29. Maybe I'll tell you some stories about the shit that went down there sometime
  30. We'll see